But my question is this, what qualities do you want in a man? What do you really want?

Like the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Step back and take a look at the women that you call your friends. Think about those things that are important to you. Think about those things that you complain about, and try to figure out why you’re friends with the women that you’re friends with in the first place. Be honest with yourself and determine if whether or not you’re just like them. Is being like them the reason that you’re so close? Is that the reason why you flock together?

So, make some changes if needed. Step out of your comfort zone when it comes to friendship. Make some friends with people you would’ve never likely hung out with before. Find some friends that you can learn from and some friends that are uplifting and positive. Don’t throw shade to your original girls; just realize that you may have to make some changes in your life to create that positive atmosphere that you desire.

Sharena Scott is the blogger behind the blog site, Doll House. Visit Doll House at www.dollsplayhouse.com.

So you and your man just ended your relationship. It’s now completely over. What do you do now? Go ahead and cry. Mourn your relationship. Call your girls over so you can have a shoulder to cry on. Have some wine and even have a waiting to exhale moment. I’ll give you a week to get it all out.

Now, after the week is over, MOVE ON! Staying in this weak state leaves you vulnerable to more pain. Get back to life as you know it. Back to work and back to whatever you were doing before he was in your life. What you have to realize is that you had a life before he came into it, and whether you realize it or not, you WILL have a life after he’s gone.

Don’t go to that restaurant where you both had dinner. Try somewhere new. Going to all the same spots will just bring up memories. It will reopen a healing wound. And plus, you may even run into him and we don’t want that.

Delete his number from your phone. Put all the pictures in a box and stuff them in an attic, basement, storage room, or just throw them away. Schedule some time with the girls or indulge in some “me –time.” Hit up a spa, book a vacation, and do fun things so your mind doesn’t veer off back down memory lane.

Do those things that you have put off for whatever reason. Change your hairstyle to the one that he never liked. Go shopping and buy some out of the box things. Most importantly, stay strong. Realize that everything happens for a reason. Take it as a lesson learned. Take from it what you can. Forgive, but don’t forget, and stop thinking about him.

Come to terms that his friends are HIS friends. You may have had a relationship with them also, but at the end of the day, they’re his friends. They’re not the ones to vent to. Speak when you see them and keep it moving.

With all that said, move on! No childish play (prank phones calls and broken windows). Be a woman about the situation. Put a period on the last sentence, close the chapter, and with a smile, start the next chapter.

Here’s a playlist to help you through a breakup.
Alicia Keys- “Lesson Learned”
Chrisette Michele- “I’m Okay”
Destiny’s Child-“Free”
Janet Jackson featuring Missy Elliot- “Son of a Gun”
Letoya Luckett- “Regret”
Mary J. Blige- “Not Gonna Cry”
Trey Songz- “Black Roses”
Trina- “Single Again”
Usher- “Burn”
Vivian Green- “Emotional Rollercoaster”

#arealhusband will NEVER be a guest on Maury.

#arealhusband is a Man that will make you better.

#arealhusband doesn’t have a side chick or a plan b chick on stand by #Imjustsayin.

#arealhusband hmmm??? is there even such a thing any more???

#arealhusband prays with his wife….AMEN!!!!

#arealhusband makes sure his family eats every night .

#arealhusband knows that watching his own children is not babysitting.

#arealhusband won’t be on Facebook/Twitter/Myspace hitting on young girls.

#arealhusband will be afraid to loose you.

#arealhusband will watch Lifetime with his wife.

#arealhusband is a man who will bring you up, not knock you down.

#arealhusband will hold your purse while you try on clothes.

He doesn’t quite make you smile the way he use to. His usually adoring compliments are now few, the whispers of sweet nothings have long faded, and you find the love you have for your man slipping away……….

And you’re honest with yourself, and maybe you’ve been slacking a bit to. Not really motivated to put your best effort forward in the relationship. You love your man, but things aren’t the same.

How do you find your way back to the man you love?

To each its own and it’s true that we all are looking for something different in a man. But can you date a man with long hair? Whether it’s dreads, extensions, or his real hair, are you comfortable with the notion of dating a man who has hair that could be longer than yours?

What do you think ladies?

FYI (Ty Ogunkoya is 6’1,” has hazel eyes, a degree in material engineering, and wears a size 10 shoe. Hmm…..maybe the long hair isn’t so bad after all! Lol!

Have you ever been cheated on before and you gave that person a second chance? If so, did that person cheat again or did they remain faithful?

So many women stay in relationships where they have been cheated on. And they all stay for various reasons. Maybe they stay for financial reasons. Maybe they stay for the children. Maybe some stay because they don’t realize that they deserve better. I don’t know…..

What are your thoughts?

Women knowingly date married men all the time. As a woman, how do you feel about other women who date married men? If you are a single woman dating a married man, how did you get involved with a married man? Do you believe you have a future with this married man or are you dating this married man because you’re not looking for commitment?

After their success film, “Happily Ever After: A Positive Look at Black Marriage.” “Happily Ever After,” which took a real look inside Black marriages, the Tyler’s are back with their latest efforts, “You Saved Me.” The following is the synopsis of the film, “You Saved Me.”

“With Black marriage numbers at an all time low and Black divorce numbers at an all time high, the hopes of positive, lasting, relationships looked bleak…..until now. Executive Producers Lamar and Ronnie Tyler bring real married couples to the screen to chronicle the greatest love stories ever told. These real couples explain how their marriages had a direct impact on their lives. Featuring candid and transparent looks inside of the hardships, trials, and ultimate success stories of these amazing couples, “You Saved Me” offers an unprecedented look inside of real relationships in the Black community and what is required to sustain them…..”

The Tyler’s continue to deliver projects and messages that our needed within our community. When asked, what is the best advice that they have for any married couple?
The Tyler’s replied:

“To other married couples, we would ask that you love each other, love your children, and remember that if you both are selfless in your relationship and refuse to give up; your relationship will never fail.”

To learn more about or to purchase a copy of “Happily Ever After” and “You Saved Me,” please visit www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com.

So today, I pose this question for those who are happy in their marriages and in their relationships:

What do you love most about your husband or your significant other?

I will go first. One thing that I love most about my husband is that no matter what, I have always been able to depend on him.