“Ummmm, Can I Get…?”
Have you ever went to the “Jack in the Box” drive thru and said, “Ummmm, can I get ummm… (mind goes blank)? You know that you’re hungry, but you don’t know exactly what you want to eat. You repeat yourself, “Ummmm, can I get a number… (mind goes blank again). Finally, you tell the person taking your order, “Just a minute please.” The person on the other end says, “Order when you’re ready.” We’ve all done this and this is fine when you’re ordering your lunch, but many women treat dating like a fast food drive thru. Let me explain…..
Many of us know that we want to date and marry a “good” man. So we jump into the dating world (symbolic for the drive thru window). When we get up to the “dating” window, we realize that we don’t know what we want or need from a man. We realize that we have no standards or clear criteria for what we’re looking for in a man or in a marriage partner. Maybe we should tell the person taking our order, “Just a minute please.” But instead, we date man after man and keep saying, “No, he’s not the one.” “No I don’t like that. No, I don’t want that.” Meanwhile, we don’t know what we want. Maybe we should drive away from the drive-thru window and “order when we’re ready.” Maybe we should re-enter the dating game when we know what we need and what we want instead of wasting our time and other people’s time as well. And besides, there are three people behind you ready to order. Hurry up!
We have to know what we want and know what we don’t want. It’s best to take a step back from the dating game and first know what you’re looking for in a man. Know what you need. In order to know your needs, you must first know yourself! If you’re an intelligent women, you probably need a man to stimulate your mind. If you go out with Joe Blow and he doesn’t have any conversation, then he’s not the one (even if he’s fine)! If you’re a sensitive woman, you probably need a man who thinks before he speaks and carefully considers your feelings. With that said, you may not mesh well with a man who is completely blunt and “tells it like it is.” He’s not the one!
We must know ourselves so we can know what we need or desire in a man. Personally, I’m an aggressive, yet sensitive type of woman. I need a man who can stand up to me, but who can hear me out as well. I can’t date a man who is neither overly aggressive nor passive. We have to know our needs and be honest with ourselves. When we know our needs, we know who we are and then we can accurately choose the type of man we need to be with. We must be honest with ourselves and be aware of what we truly need mentally, emotionally, and spiritually from a man.
The next time you’re hungry and you find yourself in the drive-thru, have your order ready. Know what kind of man you want. Know what you want and know how much it’s going to cost. Don’t waste your time or his time saying, “Ummmm” when asked, “What are you looking for?” Know what you need. Know what you want before you return to the dating game. So the next time the universe asks you, “May I take your order?” Instead of saying, “Ummmm, can I get…” Say, “Yes, I will need a man who is intelligent with a great sense of humor so he can feed my mind. A man that’s ambitious and family-orientated because I need to respect my man. A man that’s moral and spiritual because I need him to feed my spirit. I need a man who is caring, thoughtful, and kind with a cherry on top. Please! Maybe we should pause for a minute and “Order when we’re ready.”
Peace, Miss Deliverance
Miss Deliverance is the blogger behind the blog site, Liberated African People. Visit Liberated African People over at www.liberatedap.blogspot.com.
