Pure Gold

Disclaimer- If you’re a good Black man, then this isn’t for you. But it could be for your brother, your uncle, your nephew or your daddy…..Then again, it just might be for you. Read on.

When I look at the Black family today, I wonder why? Why are nearly 70% of Black children growing up in a single-parent household? The majority of these households are headed by females. Why are so many Black men in jail? Why are so many Black men willing to be baby fathers, but not husbands? Why do so many Black men leave and allow their children to be raised by women alone? I wonder, do Black men know their value? When I look at the overall state of Black men, the answer is overwhelmingly no!

I came from a single-parent household. My mother and father were married for a number of years. But once my parents divorced, my mother raised 5 children by herself. But why? Did my father not know his value? Did he know that his presence would’ve been more valuable than money, than riches, than gold? Did he know that he was responsible in helping build his children’s self-esteem? Did he know that he was to lead his family? Did he know that he was the head of the family and when the head is missing from the body, the body dies? No he didn’t. Not only did my father not know his value, many Black men just don’t know how valuable they are to their families, to their children, to their communities, and to the world.

I think one of the main reasons why Black men are unaware of their value is because society tells them that they aren’t valuable. The Black man is indeed the ideal sexual mate; tall, dark, and handsome. The Black man is the ideal athlete. But besides being the ideal sexual/athletic man, society says that Black men are dispensable. You see, Black men dominate the most popular professional sports. And we all know the myths about the “well-endowed” brother. These two ideologies have been ingrained into the psyche of society, and unfortunately, these ideologies are ingrained into the minds of young Black boys. Once these ideologies of what Black manhood is believe to be becomes ingrained (consciously or unconsciously) into Black boys, many of them come to believe that they only have value as a Black man if they are a professional athlete or if they are having sex with as many women as possible. No one is instructing these young Black boys that their value exist because they are to become men.

Men take care and provide for their families. Men raise their daughters and sons so they don’t become lost adults. Men stay out of jail because their families are depending on them. Men are more than athletes and sex icons. Men are to provide and protect their families. Men build nations. But unfortunately in America, too many Black men fill prisons. Though America may see no value in Black men, we see your value.

Another reason why Black men have lost their sense of value is because Black fathers aren’t there. They’re absent and they can’t teach their sons how valuable they are. This is evident by the Black on Black male crime/murders you see prevailing in America today. Many Black men don’t have value or respect for their own lives nor the lives of other Black men. When a Black boy grows up without his father, he misses out on a million lessons. One of those lessons is the value and the role he must take as a man.

Many Black boys never learn that they are to lead their families. Many Black men still believe their value rest in between their legs because their fathers weren’t there to teach them otherwise. But being a male and being a man are two different things.

For the men who grew up without their fathers, make sure the cycle of absent fathers ends with you if and when you have your own children. Listen Black men, like Jill Scott said, “We need you, sometimes so hard to say.” Truly, we need you to know that you’re valuable, irreplaceable, and necessary. We will raise our children on our own if we have to, but we need you too. Black men, you provide stability, security, and self-esteem for your children. You provide love, security, support, companionship, motivation, direction, perspective, affection, comfort, and strength to your girlfriends and to your wives. We need you and more importantly, we need you to know your value so you can once again assume your rightful place at home and in the world. Black men, we need you to know that you’re more valuable than “pure gold.”

With Love, Miss Deliverance

Miss Deliverance is the blogger behind the blog site, Liberated African People. Visit Liberated African People over at www.liberatedap.blogspot.com.