Why I Am Still Single?

I was watching a You Tube clip of The Oprah Show the other day and Oprah said that, “70% of Black women are single.” By single, she meant that 70% of Black women are unmarried. When I heard this statistic, I nearly fell out of my chair (well actually off my couch) because I thought, “How could so many Black women be single?” I next thought about what we sistas can do to make sure that this statistic decreases.

First, I believe that we have to get out of this mentality that we must only date or marry Black men. Statistically, there aren’t enough Black men to go around and there are even less “good Black men.” Let’s try being a tad bit more open-minded and give someone else other than a “brother” a try. I know I prefer a Black man too, but I’m no longer stuck on dating and marrying a Black man only. In essences, let’s try “Something New,” like Sanaa Lathan.

Second, we must also be careful not to pass up good Black men for shallow reasons. I know I have passed up good brothers just because they didn’t have enough of an athletic built. They didn’t look like Morris Chestnut. There are many more shallow reasons as to why we pass up good Black men. He doesn’t make six figures. He doesn’t dress to impress. He doesn’t have a certain job title. Whatever the reasons, let’s stop passing up good Black men.

The man that you NEED to marry may not always be the man you want on the surface.

Another reason why 70% of us are single is because many of us want a man with “that degree.” Because we are advancing in education and in our careers, we want a man who can at least bring to the table what we bring. Usually, if you have a B.A., you want a man with a B.A. If you have a Masters degree, you want a man that has a Masters degree. It’s nothing wrong with wanting to be “equally yoked,” but a man can be just as intelligent, just as ambitious, and just as hard-working without that B.A. and Masters degree. Let’s focus more so on the man behind the degree, instead of the degree itself.

In order for this 70% statistic to change, we sistas are going to have to change the game. We have to be more open to dating and marrying someone other than a Black man. We also have to stop passing up good brothers for shallow reasons. We also have to know that as we advance up the corporate ladder, Black men begin to disappear. So we have to focus more on a man’s character. Is he loving, considerate, supportive and trustworthy? Let’s be true to ourselves in dating and let’s be more open-minded so we don’t have to keep asking ourselves, “Why Am I Still Single?”

Peace, Miss Deliverance

Miss Deliverance is the bloggerr behind the blog site, Liberated African People. Visit Liberated African People over at www.liberatedap.blogspot.com.